Let's Make Better Mistakes Tomorrow

In a perfect world, I think I might possible maybe spend another year abroad... I really just don't know what to do. Part of me is saying, "Go to Ottawa! You need to go back to school." But then this other part of me is saying, "School will always be there, I promise. Right now you are young and have the ability to be flexible and travel and do everything in the world that you want to do." 
I talked to Cely about my dilemma in not knowing what to do about university. She didn't offer any help, although she did listen to me and give me a banana. When in doubt, have some potassium...
I'm playing ping pong in my brain. Europe, university. Europe, university. The thought exhausts me.

I found this interesting questionnaire on the internet. One of the questions read, "How do you define success?" I used to think the answer would be happiness, but that's a mood, not a destination. So... How would I define success? By learning a new language. Traveling to new countries. Eating dinner at that exotic new restaurant or sitting on one of the world's greatest ancient monuments while eating cinnamon gelato... That isn't success though, that's just what I like to do. And its a very depressing thought to know that I can't live this way forever... I just don't where which direction to go. If I came back to Europe again after next summer, would I be stuck in the same question as I am now, and could I really be away from my family again for another whole year? That's the reality when you move halfway across the world. 
I recall something I read about in the book Influence by Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. They put together a book that includes personality tests, opinions, favourite quotes, photographs of their favourite designer clothes, places of travels... There was something in there called the Proust questionnaire. Marcel Proust was a French writer who believed that a person must first understand themselves before they figure anything or anyone else out. I decided to fill out my own Proust questionnaire.
1. What is your greatest fear?
being abducted, or losing my eye sight

2. What is your current state of mind?
content

3. What is your favourite way to spend time?
traveling and exploring, but on a normal day, spending time with friends, drinking tea, writing

4. What historical figure do you most identify with?
i don't know
5. Which living person do you most admire?
oprah winfrey
6. Who is your favourite fictional hero?
robin hood
7. Who are your real-life hero's?
my papa whyte

8. What is your most treasured possession?
the teddy bear my papa pressé gave me

9. When and where were you happiest?
here in rome

10. What is your most obvious characteristic?
possessing a creative mind, making others laugh
11. What is the trait you hate most in yourself?
stubborn

12. What is the trait you hate most in others?
being late, dishonest and arrogant
13. What is your greatest extravagance?
the fact that i live in rome

14. What is your favourite journey?
 the one i'm currently on
15. What do you most dislike about your appearance?
my height, i wish i was taller
16. What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
perfection

17. On what occasion do you lie?
when I'm annoyed and i say that i'm busy 
18. Which words of phases do you most overuse?
"keep calm and carry on"
19. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
 not being such a perfectionist
20. What do you consider your greatest achievement?
moving to france alone at 16, then moving again to italy at 18, learning languages on my own

21. Where would you like to live?
right here in rome, where i am. or in buckingham palace.

22. What is the quality you most admire in a man?
a good listener, spontaneous, genuine

23. What is the quality you most admire in a woman?
independence, a strong sense of self

24. What is it you most dislike?
bullshit

25. What do you value most in your friends?
their ability to love and support me no matter what i do or where i go

26. How would you like to die?
in my sleep, obviously
27. If you were to die and come back as an animal, which animal do you think it would be?
a lion

28. If you could choose an object to come back as, what would you choose?
a book
29. What is your motto?
everybody dies, but not everybody lives

30. Who has been the greatest influence on you?
oprah winfrey

31. What or who is the greatest love of your life?
i don't know 'who' yet because i haven't met him but writing and traveling are my two favourite loves at the time. i'm consistent and dedicated to them as i haven't been in my other loves.

32. Which talent would you like to have?
singing, or the ability to pick up languages the same way that animals can pick up diseases. you know?

33. What would you like to be?
"a wise woman"